Regular old phones : (drops on concrete at 50 miles per hour ) *slightly cracks*
Android : (drops on concrete floor) *slightly cracks)
iPhones: (drops on carpet floor) *shatters , self destructs , explodes , falls into another dimension , becomes pregnant , turns into a cow
broaaadbean: who needs april fools my entire life is a joke
I can hear myself getting fatter
fosterthebloggers: me in math class
swiftingthrough: cloudy with a chance of why the fuck am i outside
pizzaforpresident: pizzaforpresident: jesuschristvevo: tltty: snow WHITE? aw hell no we need to get some diversity up in this bitch snow half lebanese half korean how can you be half lesbian i misread this. i’ll see myself out
zombieinmybutt: My 8 year old brother just called my dad a pussy. My dad looked him right in the eyes & said “You are what you eat.” There is something seriously wrong with this family.
butthurtbandboys: [throws a rock at your window] what’s your wifi password
remusandthelupins: hello, yes drug dealer i’d like some weed brownies hold the weed
My level of sarcasm’s gotten to a point where I don’t even know if I’m kidding or not.
Boy: spell me
Boy: you forgot the D
Girl: there's no D in me.
Boy: not yet
When someone grabs me and im not expecting it
katkinkat: I DONT WANT TO WEAR CLOTHES I WANT TO WEAR BLANKETS I HATE SOCIETY
cianur00: sam-winchester-cries-during-sex: f-r-eckled: im like 25% funny and 85% bad at math that’s 110%
rosaparking: sext: are u a boy or a girl
deodrant: world war three will probably be fought via social networking sites
How I feel when my team is ranked
laurenwasplayingwithstickers: sansawiles: robinrealhood: welcome to the uk where there’s currently a national debate on how people use their toilet paper Why is there a dog in the middle? Its the andrex puppy you barbarian
I KNEW YOU WERE TROUBLE WHEN YOU WALKED IN. NOW...
awesomephilia: diabeticwitchbrother: lexisintoomanyfandoms: awesomephilia: I don’t get it… LION ON THE COLD HARD GROUND Gotta love how this post got popular after somebody explained it.
sodamnrelatable: when you want to continue a conversation but you don’t know what to say
me: wakes up
me: opens computer before eyelids